Harrumph

We actually got out and about last night when some friends invited us to a pre-season Texans game. Who'd have thought we'd actually win? We witnessed lots of fashion crimes in the name of team spirit, and others in the name of looking good. Someone actually wore thigh high boots with a mini-dress. In August. In Houston. I suppose everyone has to earn their living somehow, right?

Anyway, I digress. The female half of this couple is finishing (or beginning?) her third and final year of a neonatology fellowship, and I turn to her for lots of baby and pregnancy-related advice and nerve-calming. I told her that I am beginning a childbirth class next week, and I am hoping it will help me make a more informed decision about how I want the labor part of this pregnancy to proceed. I half-heartedly joked that I was tempted to sign in blood for a scheduled C-section now.

This is where she stopped me and said, "Don't do it." She went on to say that she didn't think that my doctor (whom she referred me to) would do a scheduled C in the first place since it is bad for the babies. She said that babies of scheduled C-sections often have complications with lung maturity due to the lack of transition period from not laboring (I think this is called transient tachypnea of the newborn, IIRC). She said that often they are fine, but they must rule out infection. Ruling out infection can mean a two day stay in the NICU, and often/always means a spinal tap and blood draws. I hate the thought of anyone poking and prodding my little Junior unnecessarily. I also hate the thought my baby being stuck in the NICU, myself being laid up recovering from surgery and not being able to breastfeed and bond with our newborn. It is a different story altogether if there is a trial of labor, things don't progress and a section needs to occur. Apparently, studies are currently being done on the neonatal complications that arise from scheduled C-sections. She said that she sees about 8-10 babies a week in the NICU for this reason.

And let's say that our one remaining embryo survives the thaw, we leap the hurdle of FET and we are miraculously blessed with a second child. If I go into labor after having had a previous C-section, there is the risk of uterine rupture, which is very very very very very very very bad.

So, harrumph. At the beginning of this pregnancy, I never had any pre-disposed ideas of how Junior should make his way into the world, beyond the idea that I wanted to breastfeed immediately and have some bonding time just the three of us before overbearing grandparents elbowed their way into our room to rip our sweetheart out of my arms to cuddle him. I always thought I'd be pretty zen about the whole thing, but after talking to a couple of women who had horribly complicated deliveries (V and C), I had begun to lean toward C-section. I will admit to fearing the urinary and fecal incontinence that can occur with the vaginal delivery. But it doesn't always happen, and it isn't always long-term when it does. Since the magic wand option does not yet exist, I suppose I am just going to have to put aside my fears and do what is best for the baby. I am going to make an effort to be zen about it all, and trust my doc (whom I really do trust) to help me make the best decision about how to proceed.

But there will absolutely be an epidural.

And if you think I have uttered the words urinary and fecal incontinence in the presence of my husband, you are out of your mind. He is not a medical person at all. I am curious to see how he handles all of this. I would not be surprised to see him pass out in the delivery room.

This article is geared toward physicians whose patients are requesting scheduled C-sections. It discusses risks, benefits, how to handle these requests in an ethical manner etc.

Have I mentioned lately how out of control my boobs are? I am a {gulp} 40G. Yes, you read that correctly. G for Gigantic. Gargantuan. Ginormous.

We have settled on a name for our little one. Sebastian Bartholomew.







Just kidding! No offense to anyone who might be using that name. It is, uh, just not right for us.



It is Benjam.in Edward. B is my husband's middle name; E is my father's first name. I think it is perfect.

Just some personal reminders

Found some book recommendations that I'd like to read when/if I find the time:

The. Long. Awa.ited Stor.k: A guide to Parenting af.ter Infer.tility

The Bel.ated Baby: A gui.de to Parenting after Infe.rtility


A friend had recommended Girlfri.end's Guid.e to Preg.nancy, but after perusing a copy at 1/2 Price Books, the infertile in me got pissed off. Am too tired these days to read anything that is a waste of my time.

Have also been reading Hea.lthy Sleep Ha.bits, Hap.py Ch.ild and will begin Happ.iest Ba.by on the Blo.ck, per recommendations from a friend who is a pediatrician (and whose children sleep!)

Will BBL with a more updated post.

Big

Here was my conversation with my husband immediately preceding our ultrasound.

K: Hey, I'm in the lobby of the doctor's office. Where are you?

A: What do you mean, where am I?

K:Um, we have the big ultrasound today, where we get a nice long look at Junior. I reminded you of this days ago.

A: I'm on the 15th hole, and I think I'm going to break 90 today. I can't leave!

K: (tears of anger beginning to well) OMG, I can't believe you! You're going to miss it!

A: Honey relax, I'm just down the street. I'll be there in just a few minutes.

The nerve of him!!!!!!

It was such a delight to have such a long look at Junior, who btw, is measuring 9 (!) days ahead. He is currently head down. Even being a nurse, I just find it amazing at what can be seen on an US. The peri measured the femur, tibia and fibula, top of the head, showed us the four chambers of the heart, counted all the fingers and toes (no clubbing!), reconfirmed the boy parts, the number of vessels in my umbilical cord, and some other stuff that escapes me right now.



There is one small thing that he noted. There is a bit of fluid on both kidneys, which he said can be attributed to the valves that prevent the urine from backing up into the kidneys not being fully mature at this point. He said that in 95% of cases, as the baby grows, this goes away. In the 5% that it does not, it can be surgically repaired. Of course, Junior will continue to be monitored for this throughout the pregnancy.

Oh! Baby furniture is here! Gotta go!

ETA: The baby bedding got here as well. Happy day!

Happy 4th!

This is the first chance I have had in quite a while to make any kind of entry. It's been a busy couple of weeks.

Earlier this week, we sold my old car and bought a new one all in the same day. It was a long and painful process and there is certainly a reason that I do that only once every 8 years or so. I was fortunate to find a buyer for my car, since it allowed us to get a little more for my car than we might have had we traded it in. The only thing that has been a hassle is that I could not find my title for anything. I thought that I had the correct document but my bubble was burst when the buyer and I went to her county tax office and tried to transfer the title. Since the car was in both my father's and my name, I had to get a copy of his driver's license and his siggy on a couple of documents. We should be all set to do it on Monday. So there has been a lot of running around after work every day this week, which has absolutely worn me out. I slept in by about 4 hours today. So, whatever you do, make sure that your title to your car is in your possession!

I also had my first baby shower last weekend! It was absolutely wonderful. My four busiest girlfriends got together and planned a great one for me. I got quite a few nice gifts; I have some very generous friends.

Last night, I had a striking baby anxiety dream last night. This one actually made me laugh. A and I were taking our baby home. Our little boy in a blue onesie was nestled in his carseat. I was carrying him in said carseat while I was puffing away on a cigarette. Then it occurred to me that perhaps he should have a blanket covering him since it was, in fact, November. This was pretty funny to me, given that I work in a cancer hospital. The one time I took a puff in college helped me decide smoking was not the way for me to go. Anyhoo, I know it is just more baby anxiety dreams, but found it entertaining that I was smoking in my dream.

Whew!

So, the doc called and told me that there was nothing bad in the tissue sample. It showed engorgement of the tissue, no infection, no cancer, nada. Whee!

Thanks for the kind words, everyone! Definitely feeling like a weight has been lifted. I can only hope and pray that the rest of the pregnancy goes smoothly.

Today's Biopsy

Went really well. Very short and sweet, and done with local anesthesia. I have the absorbable sutures in place, with some steri-strips over the incision and some gauze and a tega.derm over that. Didn't feel a thing. So far I have only needed Tyl.enol for discomfort.

Over the weekend, I shared this little drama with some girlfriends. They offered up tales of similar symptoms (via grapevine) that spontaneously resolved after pregnancy or within a couple of months. This did help me step back form the ledge, a bit. Am feeling better about things over all. Hopefully it is just pregnancy-hormone-related and not The Terrible Thing.

Junior is moving around quite a bit now! He is a big fan of B&J's Peanut Butter Cup ice cream. My husband still can't feel the kicks from the outside though.

Many thanks to all of you who dropped by and offered your support! It was very much needed.

I went to a breast surgeon consult. He said that he didn't think the tissue was infected, and agreed that Clindamycin was the appropriate course of treatment if that were the case. He said that is likely changes related to pregnancy, but wants to rule out Inflammatory Breast Cancer by doing a skin biopsy. I made the mistake of googling.


Terrified doesn't begin to describe how I feel.

I.

Am.

A.

Mess.